The Sex Education System
On Saturday 2nd June 2024, the Sexy Pigeons facilitated our second workshop at the lovely Music Rooms in New Cross. This time we were examining sex education in practise – the current school system, RSE guidance and our own experiences with sex ed at school – or lack thereof…..It was another wonderful session, and towards the end we even ventured out into the sunny garden for our zine making section. We were surrounded by two baby kittens, and much to Otts’ dismay…a lot of pollen. But the show must go on!
Our second workshop proved a lot more challenging than the first for a number of reasons. We were so lucky to have such huge support shown for our first workshop, as the Cum on Down! series was a novelty at that point. The second time around we realised it’s not all sunshine and daises, and that marketing for your own event is bloody tough! We are the producers, idea makers, directors, marketers and facilitators. Learning as we go. And it aint a walk in the park, we’ll tell you that for free.
We launched the event – our little baby – and in 24 hours we didn’t have a single sign up. We tried not to get disheartened but it was hard not to feel somewhat like we’d failed. Despite this we kept up momentum, reached out to a much wider audience and asked for some advice from some good eggs. We set up an Eventbrite, unearthed some old WhatsApp chats from the grave and really tried to advertise like we’d never advertised before. We have a long way to go still, but we managed to appeal to two complete strangers who saw our event advertised and came along!
The workshop itself felt very different from the first as we were in a smaller studio space, and had far fewer participants. But to take a positive out of this – there was a uniquely intimate quality to the 3 and a half hours we spent together which gave each participant much more space and time to express their thoughts and ideas. Saph also created a little snack bar on the piano which proved very popular, so may be returning…
Introductions and ice breakers included participants naming what vibrator setting they felt they would be on the day, based on their energy levels, and in pairs summing up each other’s life story (fact or fiction because why not?!) in under a minute. We much prefer people talking about each other than people talking about themselves as it encourages us to listen far more than the dreaded ‘fun fact about yourself’. Who actually listens to what others are saying rather than spending the whole time sweating profusely trying to come up with something better than ‘I have a pet dog’?!
We then had a brilliantly in depth and focussed discussion around the sex ed system past and present. There was a great conversation around the complexities of gender divided sex education. There is so much to be learnt from a whole school approach to RSE – teaching empathy and understanding about all different bodies, not stigmatising topics, learning about things your body might never go through etc. One participant brought up the misogynistic culture that can manifest so early in secondary school education, and how femme-presenting students may find segregated RSE easier to share experiences. This was countered by another participant looking at how this divide can reinforce toxic masculinity to the point boys are being told they’re the problem before anything has even happened – ironically making the situation worse rather than better. We could have continued our discussion for far longer but we had lots to get through.
Our world building for the second workshop looked at creating an educational tool for classrooms that could serve as a visual, permanent feature of an imaginary classroom for any students worried to ask a question in class. We were inspired by the idea of the anonymous question box you might have at the end of a sex ed class, and encouraged participants to write down as many questions they could think of, either that they wished would have been answered during their time at school, or that would be beneficial to someone going through school right now. We then turned a question each into an acrostic poem. We had ‘discharge’ ‘contraception’ and ‘masturbate’. This was such a lovely exercise, and Saph had the idea to use the base background of our poster to write the poems on. The Ten ‘Cum’andments was a highlight of this workshop. 10 self love and educational points to wholeheartedly stick to. And of course we were proud of the name! Our Sexy Pigeons world now has these educational tools, and sex positive inventions and even its own mantra. We can’t wait to see what this world becomes as it grows and grows within the series.
The Reanimating Data Project came back into play after the break – but unfortunately, we didn’t have as long as we wanted to really explore the interviews in depth and have a proper debrief after. This is definitely something to learn from for future workshops, in order to devote enough time to explore everything, or at least most of what we have planned. We really enjoy the time taken to sit with the material by all participants and to really reflect on how sex ed has transformed over the past 40 years. Young women and girls in the 1980s seemed to face just as many double standards, judgments, societal pressures and so much more as we do today. But we are also so lucky to speak more freely, to be more accepted and to look beyond the binary.
Zine making in the Music Rooms’ sunny garden was delightful, and such a treat to finally have some good weather for our crafting. We like to urge all of our participants to include a section from an interview they resonate with in their zine, and this time round some really beautiful creations were made!
Looking at the most recent statutory guidance released by the government, things sadly seem to be regressing in certain right wing echo chambers. This is why we must continue these important conversations, and build the Sexy Pigeons community when other parties are trying so hard to break these kind of communities apart.
We cannot wait to come back bigger, better and sexier than before.
Lots of love,
Sexy Pigeons
